Hi! It’s DawnOwar, your LOST Fashion Correspondent for CrankyFanatic.com.
The question of the week is “Who dressed the Oceanic Six?”
They needed to fire the stylist for that press conference! Just look at Jack in the worst cheap looking khaki blazer!
Well it is a better look than the blood soaked appendix shirt he’s wearing on the island. That guy certainly gets around good for someone who’s just popped his stitches from the surgery he had yesterday on the wing of a plane wiped down with rags from a rusty bucket.
I think they bought the suit jackets in bulk.
It’s ugly on me too.
Nadia, on the other hand, did herself up all pretty to reclaim her man in this retro-inspired blue polka-dot dress and hair-salon-fresh curls. You’ve come a long way since the burkha baby!
Over on the beach Juliette is setting a fashion trend! Sun has started dressing just like her! Both women are wearing jeans and a button down shirt unbuttoned just far enough to reveal some cleavage and a tank top underneath. Seems like a lot of clothes to wear on a beach in the blazing sun, but these women are not afraid to suffer for fashion.
Copycat!
Off-Island Sun has fantastic fashion sense. The Oceanic Six stylist put her in paisely print… never good look…
First thing she did with her settlement was find herself a *fabulous* sheer maternity top that’s both lightweight and slimming.
Second thing she did was buy a controlling interest in her father’s company.
Hurley’s parents sure know how to throw a party, don’t they?? Here they are in custom made matching Hawaiian print outfits. Always remember, you can never be overdressed when you’re hosting a theme party!
Kate has really adapted to her off-island life as a Mother. She’s not only the world’s best mother, she’s always pulled together, looking fabulous with perfect hair and makeup. Pretty impressive for a first-time mom. Especially one who likes to climb trees and trek around in the jungle for fun.
Not only that, but someone finally got Aaron some clothes! Here he is rockin’ what looks like a cute blue shorts outfit. I expect it’s just a matter of time before he spits up green stuff on Kate’s white dress, but then we all start out pretty at parties, don’t we?
Hurley is wearing a 626 BLUE® Navy Ace of Spades Graphic Tee, available for $25 in sizes XL - 6X at Casual Male. (really! click the link to buy it!)
Also a much better look for him than that press conference “vertical stripes make you look thinner” shirt
I don’t think it worked.
Here’s Richard Alpert, the first of the mysterious “others” to pop out of the jungle at us, wearing brown. Oh! It all makes sense now. Alpert works for UPS. His strange comings and goings are clearly related to worldwide package delivery!
They use the children they take as package handlers, while the adults serve as the delivery drivers. Jacob is the LOST Island plant manager. It all makes so much sense now!
Keamy heads a team of expert marksmen skilled in the art of shooting anyone but Sawyer whilst always keeping their faces completely obscured with guns, makeup and big floppy hats.
Did I mention he’s hot? Evil is so sexy.
That’s all for Part 1: Back to you Big-O!
“His strange comings and goings are clearly related to worldwide package delivery!” LOL
what a great post! smart yet witty. i work as fashion editor myself so i really appreciate this a bit extraordinary approach to the LOST show.
also, is it possible to get these fashion reviews in a form of podcast?
That’s a good idea Lisa!
Thanks so much for the compliments
Originally I thought to do a podcast but I think it comes out better with the photos to look at.. still who knows what might happen next season!
Hopefully they’ll change a lot more in the future!!